dapoetryblog

Living in Fear

It happens in an instant,
Like a lightening flash…I am dragged back through the trauma that bleeds from My open gash.

My brain won’t shut off or let Me forget,
Forced to relive the Shame,
Feel the Guilt and Regret.

What did I do wrong, I just needed some help,
Yet You dragged Me away and listened to Me Yelp.

11 years of pain, torture and tears.
11 years of being forced to exist with my fears.

I am done please will You leave Me alone,
All I need is for You to let Me go;
☁️HOME☁️

©️ Dannielle Attree.

Scared

I am Scared of My Future,
I am Scared of My Past.
Scared to be happy-it never Lasts!

I am Scared of being mocked and judged by most in Society…
I am Scared to express Myself, increasing My anxiety 😥

Scared of speaking out, given no choice-left to sit a room, the Girl with No Face😶and No Voice🤐
Facing relentless doom🖤

I am Scared of so much, it cuts like a knife- the reason I can’t continue to exist👇🏽 THIS IS NO ❌LIFE ❌

©️ Dannielle Attree.

Stop Watching Me

This poem can be read below or listened to in a video made in collaboration with Alexis Quinn. Follow the link for the video

https://twitter.com/aquinnunbroken/status/1343862203838050306?s=21

Stop Watching Me ❌

Where were you when the tears began to fall, when the blood began to flow-And I was writing with it, on the wall?

Where were you when I was terrified?
Overwhelmed with thoughts of Suicide.

When my sky turned black
and I had lost all hope,
You left Me again, knowing I could not cope!

You sit watching Me on that CCTV, anything to avoid spending to with Me!

I don’t want You to watch Me, to gawp and stare,
To watch Me exist in a life, I can’t bare.

When I try to break it So You cannot use it to break Me…You just scream and shout, what’s all this ‘behaviour’ about?!

You grab Me, push Me, restrain Me-face down, hurt Me, until I’m struggling for breath, feeling like I am drowning, yet longing for death.

You see My pain, You hear Me cry, yet time and again You don’t bother to try,
You call the Police and tell them lies🤯
Which just fuels my thoughts and hopes to die.

©️ Dannielle Attree.

Faded

She is just a young girl,
Fragile and innocent.
She stares in the mirror, wishing she was beautiful.

She doesn’t see the light that’s shining,
She pulls down her sleeves, attempting to cover up her pain.
Constantly craving to cut her traumas away.
Wishing tomorrow will be the last day, her wish finally fulfilled-to fade away…

©️ Dannielle Attree
14-11-2020

Yellow

Pain is the only way,
To escape the feelings that consume My days.
Night after night, I dream about seeing My yellow coffin in My grave.

Some people say;
“Things will get better.”
a word of 5 letters _ _ _ _ _ is all I crave…

I am The Girl with NO FACE,
Nobody hears Me cry.
No desire in My head to do anything but die…

©️ Dannielle Attree
14-11-2020

I am worn

I am tired.
I am worn.
My heart is heavy from the work it takes, to keep on breathing.
I have made mistakes-My hope is failing.
My heart feels crushed from the weight of this world.
I want to rise from the ashes of My broken life.
I have tried to lift My eyes up to the beauty of the sky and stop looking down, at My feet.
But I feel too weak.
My demons won’t let up.
So I must BANG AND CUT;
TO SHUT THEM UP.

©️ Dannielle Attree