Dannielle Attree

Lonely can feel…

Empty and hollow.
More room for overthinking.
So heavy it hurts.
Anxiety ridden.
Too overwhelming.
Like a barricade.
Sometimes safe, but often not a good thing.
Painful.
Like a dense fog I can barely see through.
Spiralling alone.
More time to suffer in silence.
Baring everything alone.

(c) Written by Dannielle Attree

Warrior On…

I have been trapped in the UK Mental Health System since the 10^tthof February 2010-

Totalling 12 years fighting countless wars.

Poetry and Writing became My escape,

The only place I found freedom was within the creativity of My mind

As I spent every day locked away behind door after door.

After years of being secluded from life

I saw Myself as unseen, unheard, The Girl with No Voice and No Face.

Writing in My journals helped Me turn My pain into power

As I believed that one day it would be read, heard, and would find a place to be displayed.

So, by sharing My writing on My blog and Instagram,

I am letting the lion within Me roar louder than the traumas I have endured – Remaining unbreakable like a gemstone.

Hoping My words inspire others,

Help them through their darkness,

And let them know they are not alone.

Poem and artwork copyrighted (c) To Dannielle Attree.

“That Girl”

Written on the 16-12-2021

“That girl” has fought endless battles alone, often not knowing how she has made here,

“That girl” has been through more than most will ever know and lives every day in constant fear.

“That girl” has had her rights to not be touched and abused completely denied

“That girl” now wears a mask and keeps her walls up so high.

“That girl” longs for help of any kind

And “That girl” is currently facing the darkest corners of her mind.

“That girl” feels isolated, worthless, dirty, and used.

The feeling of being in her own skin is so painful,

The abuse she was subjected to leaves her forever confused.

“That girl” struggles to ask for the support she deserves

Most days silencing her own voice and suffering on her own.

“That girl” longs for safety, and to feel less alone.

“That girl” doesn’t understand how she’s merely surviving chained in the shame she does not deserve to feel.

“That girl” questions how she will ever begin to heal?

“That girl” doesn’t want to be seen as “That girl”

She’s so scared, she masks her way through her pain.

But –

“That girl” needs to pause a bit more often and realise she is truly brave.

“That girl” underestimates her purpose & the difference she makes,

“That girl” needs to see she’s got more beauty in her heart than the most beautiful snowflake.

“That girl” doesn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel,

Yet she soldiers on like a true warrior Queen.

“That girl” is going to have the life she deserves,

She just needs to hold onto her dreams…

Written by Dannielle Attree

(Copyright)

Used for Pleasure, left with Pain

30th November 2021

⚠️ Topics include sexual abuse.

I walk around daily wrapped in chains of shame
And on Myself, I place the blame.
I am used, I am worthless, and I always feel dirty,
I cannot stop Constantly questioning why this happened to Me?

I don’t know why to him My body and mind was a playground
When “No” is what I always pleaded.
It hurts deep in My core remembering every time he succeeded.

I am utterly destroyed and questioning My existence.
Unfortunately the only thing that’s changed since the abuse stopped,
Is the distance.

Yes, physically he isn’t using Me anymore for his own enjoyment,
But I am still an actor, by My own self employment.
People don’t know how much trauma is embedded In My mind and on My skin
I hate the fact He left so much of himself behind on My outer shell and within.

If I could make a wish
It would just be for help with My healing.
Not just being told “We cannot help”
And 24 hours a day reliving his touch and so many nasty feelings.

Heartbreaking Reality 💔

26th October 2021

This warrior called D is lucky to be alive
She’s been through so much trauma that kills her inside.

So many times She has nearly become a suicide statistic
Failed relentlessly by the system, for being Autistic.

I have seen far too many gain their Angel wings and fly away
True soldiers that couldn’t hold on another day
As well as those destroyed by people who were meant to care – it makes My heart break. 💔

This pain I feel inside, I turn into power and light
I want to make a difference, yet I know I won’t make as much as I’d like.

If I can save 1 person, I fulfilled My purpose on this earth
And after being abused, used & hurt by many,
This is how I find a little worth.

As an Autistic, for years the system has made Me feel different & the odd one out,
Now My voice is needed for Autism Awareness & Acceptance, that is what My life is all about.

Tsunami in My mind.

22nd May 2021

My mind is like an ocean; so deep and so cold
So many things hidden…
Some to be discovered, like seashells and pearls
Others forbidden-untold🚫

The sea is like waves crashing through My mind,
Mysterious, deep and dark, so incredibly unkind.

My every thought a tsunami, one hundred miles per hour
Making it hard to keep My head above the water, as the GIGANTIC waves tower.

I feel like I am drifting away,
My raging sea of thoughts leave Me to drown.
Choking,
Gasping for breath
Wondering how far I have to sink down?

I am caught up in a forever swelling storm –
Relentlessly struggling to get free,
It won’t be long before the waves carry Me away, to a place You’ll NEVER see…

What lies beneath My ocean You may ask?
I try to explain, so You understand My almost unattainable task.

The destruction in My mind causes Tsunamis of all encompassing distress.
Will I ever rise up from the depths that keep pulling Me down?

Will I get the help I need to give Me a chance to grasp my breath and swim- before the next Tsunami crashes in and I possibly drown?

Art 3

Suicide Awareness

Dannielle reads one of her latest poems from inside long term segregation in a psychiatric unit.

“If more people knew, the stigma could end and people would start to mend.”

Shame on you UK government

Why have You decided that people with LD,
Are not priority to have the Covid-19 Vaccination?

Why YOU have left Us at the bottom of the list,
Leaving Our health and lives at risk?

YOU make us feel like Our lives don’t matter,

IS IT YOUR AIM FOR OUR HEARTS TO SHATTER?

With no Vaccination YOU leave Us in immeasurable fear,
PLEASE; I urge YOU to listen and hear…This is Your chance to show You hold Us dear.

If I can sit here in my secluded room-with a heavy heart from years of doom- trapped in Your Mental Health System- Yes it another punishment for many of Us.

DNR another threat, You are making decisions You will live to regret!

I am writing for those with LD across the nation…

PLEASE, CAN YOU URGENTLY REMOVE THE DNR AND PRIORITISE US; FOR OUR COVID-19 VACCINATION?